I forgot I had a blog. .
Since I forgot I had a blog, I haven't been writing. But my students have still been saying the most hilarious things every day, and sometimes they cause me to unwittingly say hilarious things back. Here are a few examples.
Things I have said to children recently that I never thought I'd have the occasion to say:
"You're not reading. You're using your book as a guitar."
"I've been sneezing since before you were born."
"You left your shoes in the bathroom? Oh, you left only one shoe in the bathroom."
A thing I regularly say to children in school that I wish someone would regularly say to me, just in life:
"You need to take a few minutes to think about your choices."
Best thing I've shouted into the boy's bathroom:
"If you want to play basketball, put on your clothes and get out here."
Best description of how a first grader spent their spring break:
"What I did over break is go to a place called Cracker Barrel a lot of times."
Five of the best attempts by fifth graders to earnestly explain that dogs are not born wearing clothes:*
"It is not acquired because maybe not all of the dogs in the poodle's family wear clothes and paint their nails."
"The poodle parents didn't have a bow on their head."
"The dress is acquired because the poodle didn't just pop out of its mother's stomach with a dress on."
"A baby pup is not born with a barrette nor clothing so you know it is acquired." (This is from one of the toughest boys in the grade and I just love it.)
"It didn't come from the puddle [sic.] parents."
Best explanation of why scars are an acquired trait that sounds like something your grandfather would whisper to you in an epic speech from his death bed:
"The scars is going to come up later in life."
Best verbal summary of the Wizard of Oz by an eleven-year-old:
"The girl had her puppet fish thing and I think they were in California and they got lost because there was a storm."
* If you want context... I gave some science homework where the assignment was to identify inherited and acquired traits in pictures of animals. One of the pictures was of a poodle, and the poodle has wearing clothes. Grading this homework made me realize that I needed to clarify to my students that the clothes you wear are not considered a physical trait, and also made me realize that my students are ridiculous. I read 60 explanations of why a poodle is not born wearing clothes.
Since I forgot I had a blog, I haven't been writing. But my students have still been saying the most hilarious things every day, and sometimes they cause me to unwittingly say hilarious things back. Here are a few examples.
Things I have said to children recently that I never thought I'd have the occasion to say:
"You're not reading. You're using your book as a guitar."
"I've been sneezing since before you were born."
"You left your shoes in the bathroom? Oh, you left only one shoe in the bathroom."
A thing I regularly say to children in school that I wish someone would regularly say to me, just in life:
"You need to take a few minutes to think about your choices."
Best thing I've shouted into the boy's bathroom:
"If you want to play basketball, put on your clothes and get out here."
Best description of how a first grader spent their spring break:
"What I did over break is go to a place called Cracker Barrel a lot of times."
Five of the best attempts by fifth graders to earnestly explain that dogs are not born wearing clothes:*
"It is not acquired because maybe not all of the dogs in the poodle's family wear clothes and paint their nails."
"The poodle parents didn't have a bow on their head."
"The dress is acquired because the poodle didn't just pop out of its mother's stomach with a dress on."
"A baby pup is not born with a barrette nor clothing so you know it is acquired." (This is from one of the toughest boys in the grade and I just love it.)
"It didn't come from the puddle [sic.] parents."
Best explanation of why scars are an acquired trait that sounds like something your grandfather would whisper to you in an epic speech from his death bed:
"The scars is going to come up later in life."
Best verbal summary of the Wizard of Oz by an eleven-year-old:
"The girl had her puppet fish thing and I think they were in California and they got lost because there was a storm."
* If you want context... I gave some science homework where the assignment was to identify inherited and acquired traits in pictures of animals. One of the pictures was of a poodle, and the poodle has wearing clothes. Grading this homework made me realize that I needed to clarify to my students that the clothes you wear are not considered a physical trait, and also made me realize that my students are ridiculous. I read 60 explanations of why a poodle is not born wearing clothes.
